Identity is key: The Lecturer, The Proposal and My Identity

A few years back, when I was an undergraduate, I had a male reading partner who was one of the best students at that time. He was a year ahead of me and was quite involved with the lecturers. One day while we were reading, he told me to prepare myself mentally because I may have issues with some male lecturers. I was shocked, why would I? He said some lecturers might ask me out, so I should be prepared with an answer. In Nigerian universities, your grades could depend on your answer if you had such an issue. As an ordinary fresher, I started including this in my prayers. I didn't know which names I should mention to God because my reading partner never mentioned names to me.

Weeks after, I was told that a particular lecturer wanted to see me in one of our resource rooms. Yeah, I was a language student, so our lecture theatre was kind of different from every other lecture theatre, and one thing was common with all these rooms, shut doors! I entered the lecture room, and it happened to be one of my least liked lecturers; well, not just by me but also by my classmates. I had a classmate who referred to this man as "wheelbarrow" because of the way he walked with his protruded belly. I sat next to this man who was marking exam scripts, yeah, we had just finished writing a paper about a week before he summoned me.

While he pressed his laptop and checked each of the papers with him, he asked how I was doing, and I replied with a smile, "fine sir." Ever since my reading partner told me this, I had suspected someone else entirely. Then he asked if I was up for a hangout to lecturer's club? I wasn't too quick to answer any question, yet I was praying, asking the Holy Spirit to take control.

My response to his question was 'No, sir.' He said, "why?" I replied, "I am either found in the church, my department or my hostel." The next thing I heard was, "church wo lo nlo?" meaning which church do you attend? I kept quiet for a while, and he said, "do you understand Yoruba?" I said, "yes, sir, I do." So why are you quiet? Guys, I was quiet for some seconds to be sure I was giving the right answer. I said I attend Celestial Church of Christ. The excitement on his face swept me off my chair. He said, "ahh, there is no problem then. That means you can be my girlfriend. Can I kiss you?"

In my mind, I was like, how, when, what? How is belonging to a particular church an automatic visa to being his girlfriend? Still, with a smile and firmness in my voice, I said, "No, sir, I cannot be one and you can't kiss me." Then he said, "why not?" I replied, "I am a Christian, not just a church goer. To my not so great surprise, he said, "whaatttiiii… are you saying you are different from the other cele girls I know?" I am not Cele, sir; I am a Christian, then a celestial. That is the difference between me and the other cele girls you know, sir."

He paused for a while, smiled, and then he said, "there is this girl on my street... ahhh... omo yen!! (that child).. I just smiled, and there was a bit of silence in the room. I looked at the screen of his laptop and saw his picture and a beautiful woman by his side. I asked, "is this your wife, sir?" He said, "Yes! That's my lovely wife." I replied, "Wow, she is beautiful." He responded with "Thank you" and went further to say, "So, are you turning down my proposal?" I said, "I'm sorry, sir, I don't cross the line." He asked, "What line?" I replied, "There is a boundary for me as a Christian and as a student that I must not cross. And what about your beautiful wife, sir? I wouldn't want to share my own man with any woman when I get married.

Well, I do not know what was so great about my answers but I believe God took control and I was let off the hook and I was also able to also clear some misconceptions about Christianity and my church. These were part of the things I told him and I'd share it with my readers too. Everyone can choose to be whoever they want to be, regardless of which church they attend. Sure, you might come across all kinds of people - cultists, gossips, and even Jezebels - in any church, but that doesn't mean they represent the entire congregation. The only difference I stated about my church to my lecturer was, 'the conspicuous yet simple garment'. Anyone who identifies as a Christian publicly is saying they are a follower of Christ, a lover of God and a doer of 'ALL' His will. That means we have a responsibility to uphold certain values and actions that reflect our beliefs. We can't just go around doing whatever we please and expect it to have no impact on how people view Christianity as a whole. If you identify with Christ, you should strive to live your life in a way that honours Him and doesn't bring shame to His body. We need to remember who we identify with and make a conscious effort to live up to those standards. I hope the girl my lecturer was referring to has finally found Christ wherever she is and if you are a replica of that girl in actions and in deeds, I hope you encounter Christ soon.

In the end, we all want to be close to the one who loves us unconditionally, but our actions can either draw us closer or push us away. So let's not be the reason that the body of Christ is insulted or looked down upon. Instead, let's be a shining example of love, kindness, and grace, so that others may see Christ in us and be drawn closer to Him.